Lyrics by Marion Parsons © 2003, music traditional
The melody is "There's a Man Goin’ Round Taking Names" as sung by Leadbelly.
I was inspired to write this by the wedding of two friends (no, not the same occasion I wrote Marjorie's Wedding for). However, it is not based on any real characters. I can't stress this enough.
My bridesmaid changes dress size every week
My ringbearer thinks he's chased by orcs
On my list of things to do, check off one thing, add on two
And my mom's become obsessed with styles of forks.
My friends all say to aim the flowers at them
Oh but if they knew what I know they would duck
Smiling bravely through my shower, every minute took an hour
Hope recycling half my presents' not bad luck.
I'm a falsie-nailed and helmet-haired meringue
My headdress dripping pollen on my brow
Do these fuck-me pumps look right with a trip-me train in white?
Wish I had my going-away clothes on right now.
I took two whole months to write my vows
He stole his from the wedding scene on Friends
It's the happiest day of my life, to become my sweetheart's wife
So why won't I be happy till it ends?
This whole precious journey's getting old
This twitching in my eyelid's something new
Well I borrowed pretty hard from that good old Mastercard
Lord knows I've got enough that's blue.