Bridal Blues

 Lyrics by Marion Parsons © 2003, music traditional

The melody is "There's a Man Goin’ Round Taking Names" as sung by Leadbelly.
I was inspired to write this by the wedding of two friends (no, not the same occasion I wrote Marjorie's Wedding for). However, it is not based on any real characters. I can't stress this enough.



My bridesmaid changes dress size every week

My ringbearer thinks he's chased by orcs

On my list of things to do, check off one thing, add on two

And my mom's become obsessed with styles of forks.



My friends all say to aim the flowers at them

Oh but if they knew what I know they would duck

Smiling bravely through my shower, every minute took an hour

Hope recycling half my presents' not bad luck.



I'm a falsie-nailed and helmet-haired meringue

My headdress dripping pollen on my brow

Do these fuck-me pumps look right with a trip-me train in white?

Wish I had my going-away clothes on right now.



I took two whole months to write my vows
He stole his from the wedding scene on Friends

It's the happiest day of my life, to become my sweetheart's wife

So why won't I be happy till it ends?



This whole precious journey's getting old

This twitching in my eyelid's something new

Well I borrowed pretty hard from that good old Mastercard

Lord knows I've got enough that's blue.